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Rugby, Beer, Sausages - welcome to our world...

The HAWAIIAN DELIGHTS SOCIAL RUGBY TEAM is a drunken idea THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED...(Blimey)...

WELLINGTON TENS COMPETITION A RESOUNDING SUCCESS, follow this link to an update...

WELLINGTON TENS PICS
lots more to come in yet, but here are a few images...



Yep, this sad collection of saggy man-bosoms, looming foreheads, excess chins and slack bellies is playing in the social senior C's grade which began on 28 April... (athletes one and all)
(Note: I realise this is a shocking photo, out of focus, dark as buggery, ill-conceived and poorly framed, but as everything we do is a shonky and hastily put-together effort, it reflects who we are perfectly)...



Visitor Number since 2nd February, 2000



Latest news... {26 March 2002}

<> Mmmm... Speights...

<> WE WON THE CUP...!!!
Yes in our first overseas trip we picked up some silverware... (ok it was for the most social team, but we'll take it)...
- We had a ball at the Wellington tens, met some cool people and played some really bad footy, a complete round-up will follow once we get some photos sorted etc... (some pics now available from link at top of page)...

<> Essay of the week... (Richard Cranium)

SEXUAL PROBLEM

A Hawaiian Delight goes to the doctor and says, "I've got this sex problem, doc. You've got to help me."
"Well" says the quack, "tell me about your average day."
"Well it all starts in the middle of the night. My girlfriend always wakes me up at about 3am and again at about 5am for nookie. Later, after a quick breakfast we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work!"
"I see" says the doc.
"No, hang on" he says, "you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day, we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there."
"Oh... now I see," says the quack.
"No you don't" he says, "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom."
"Oh.... now I think I get it" says the quack.
No, no, no" he says, "When I go to lunch I meet this waitress I'm very fond of, and we nip out the back for a quickie."
"Now I understand," says the extremely patient doctor.
"No, hang on" he says, "When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss - who is a very demanding lady I might add - has to have me take her over her desk or she says she'll give me the sack!"
"Ahh...." says the doctor, "now I see."
"No, there's more" he says, almost in tears. "When I get home my missus is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have rampant sex afterwards!"
By now, the exasperated doctor is beginning to lose his cool, "So just what exactly is your problem?!"

"Well..." he says, "it hurts when I wank."


<> Essay of last week... (anonymous)

GO UGLY EARLY

An excellent and very simple technique tried and tested on many occasions
in my youth. The technique, for all men who are desperate for a shag, is
to chat up the ugly birds early in the evening when you are sober and
stick with them. Unlike the more usual technique, of chatting up the
pretty ones when you are sober and only moving on to the ugly ones later
in the evening, GUE has a close to 100% success rate. The technique has 10 key advantages:

1) (Out of necessity) you get pissed quicker.
2) They are immensely flattered as they have never been chatted up before
by a sober person with teeth, hair and/or money and without spots and
a weight problem - (if you suffer from some or all of these afflictions,
they won't mind too much anyway).
3) By the time you get incoherently pissed they will laugh and not sneer
at your jokes - they will also ensure you get them to a bed safely as they
are even more desperate than you are.
4) By the end of the evening, they look just as gorgeous when you go home
with them as they would if you had tried and failed to pull them later in
the evening after chatting up prettier women first.
5) You have time to get them pissed enough for guaranteed action. Out of
a combination of gratitude and compensation for their appearance they will
do things in bed (or the bar /night-club/street/taxi) that many pretty
women would never dream of (except with an A-list Hollywood star or
billionaire).
6) No solution, apart from 8 pints at lunchtime, has been found for the
coyote effect in the morning but a shag's a shag, and you will never know
what fun can be had with different body shapes unless you try.
7) In the morning always ask for their phone numbers. Because no-one has
ever asked for them before they will eagerly give you their home, work and
mobile phone numbers, If you promise to call them they will be so
overexcited they will usually forget to ask you for your numbers and you
thus avoid having to ever contact or see them again.
8) With the passage of time, you will always remember them as much better
looking than they were.
9) Practice makes perfect and after a stream of successes with the ugly
birds your confidence and pulling skills will have increased sufficiently
to move on to better looking specimenns. You will have more success than
pre-GUE as all men get the same proud "just shagged look" from shagging
ugly birds as pretty ones. Pretty women will only be able to tell that you
are in demand and throw themselves at your feet.
10) All ugly girls have pretty friends who despise them and love stealing
their boyfriends.


<> Profiles are slowly being updated, there are still some pics missing, but these are generally of the uglier players, so are of no great loss... Upgrades are continuing...

<> Mmmm... Sausages...



(Speights the way it used to be)


...SOME LINKS TO OTHER RUGBY SITES...

WEBRUGBY.COM
They have a link to US...? Cool...

RUGBY HUMOUR
Some bloody good stuff in this site... I can recommend the "Unscariest Haka" section... Follow the links to spend some quality (work) time on footy funniness...

INTERSPORT-ROMAGNA.COM
As requested, some Italian links...
This site organises sports tours... check it out for info on the INTERNATIONAL ROMAGNA 7s 2002 (big party on the beach side pub) plus ROMAGNA BEACH RUGBY 2002...

WWW.FICHINGI.IT
A social team in Romagna, Italy...

WWW.RUGBYFORLI.IT
Official web page of rugby Forlė...
(Bear in mind I don't speak a word of Italian, so the above descriptors may not be 100%)...

WELLINGTON TENS
Check it out, run in conjunction with the Sevens, this is a great tourney...




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